Jordanville Journal chronicles my experiences as a seminarian at Holy Trinity Orthodox Seminary.

Myrio is my universal review site, in which I plan to review mainly movies, books, and food.

This Has Been From Me

Have you ever thought that all that concerns you also concerns Me equally? For what concerns you concerns the apple of My eye. You are dear in My eyes; you are precious, and I love you, and for this reason it is a particular joy for Me to raise you.

When temptations rise up against you, if the enemy comes against you like a river, I want you to now that this is from Me. I am God Who arranges your circumstances. It is not by accident that you find yourself in your position; it is the very position which I have foreordained for you. Have you asked that I teach you humility? Then look: I have placed you in just the right school where this lesson can be learned. Your surroundings and those who live with you only carry out My will.

Do you find yourself in financial difficulties; it is difficult for you to make ends meet? This has been because of Me, for I control your purse. I want you to flee to Me and to be dependent upon Me. My riches are inexhaustible. I want you to be convinced of My faithfulness and My promises.

Are you going through a night of sorrow? This also is from Me, for I am a Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. I have permitted this so that you may turn to Me and may find everlasting consolation.

Have you been disappointed in your friend or in someone to whom you opened your heart? This has been from Me. I have permitted this disenchantment to touch you, so that you might know the Lord is the best friend you have. I want you to bring everything to Me and to believe in Me.

Has anyone slandered you? Place this matter before Me and cleave all the closer to Me, your refuge. I will bring forth your righteousness like light and your uprightness like the noonday.

Have your plans fallen apart? Have your spirits fallen and have you become tired? This is from Me. You have founded your plans and brought them to Me that I might bless them; but I want you to leave to Me the disposition of your circumstances; then responsibility for everything will rest upon Me, for this is too onerous for you; you alone are not able to cope with everything; you are only an instrument, not an active person.

Have you dreamed of doing some special deed for Me, but instead have taken to a bed of pain and illness? This is from Me. When you were immersed in your affairs, I was unable to draw your thoughts to Myself; and I wish to teach you My most profound thoughts, because you are in My service and I wish to teach you to be aware that you are nothing. Some of My best fellow-warriors are those who have been cut off from outward activity that they might learn to master the weapon of continuous prayer.

Have you been called unexpectedly to occupy a difficult and responsible position? Go forth, relying on Me; I am entrusting these difficulties to you, for your Lord God Jesus Christ blesses you for this, in all your works, in everything that will be done by your hands. On that day I will give into your hands this vessel of sanctified oil, My blessing: use it freely, My child. Let every difficulty which arises, every word that grieves you, every obstacle in your labor which may elicit a feeling of vexation, every revelation of your weakness and inability, be anointed with this oil.

Remember that every hindrance is an instruction from God. Every goad becomes dulled if you learn to see Me in all things, in whatever touches you; and therefore cherish these words which I reveal to you today, in your heart: this is from Me. For this is not an empty saying for you, but your life…

(Manuscript taken from the Catacomb underground Church of Russia in 1942.)

Montreal, 1984.

Coming back on July 1st, I had little time to prepare for my next four-week trip in the eastern part of these United States. On the night of July 4th (St. John’s feast day) I caught a red-eye to Philadelphia, with a transfer to Syracuse, New York in order to go to Holy Trinity Monastery in Jordanville, where I am presently located. I’m spending two weeks here learning the ins and outs of church music. It’s a wonderful program: not only has my reading of Church Slavonic improved dramatically, I also feel three times as better a singer than I was just a week or so ago. If you sing in an Orthodox choir. I highly suggest this program!

Well, I have several more weeks to go until my travels end. I would write more, but I ought to attend to more pressing concerns. Until then!

Ah, and also to all of my Old Calendar friends: S’Prazdnikom!

I’m not sure what to make of this advertisement for a conference in Oklahoma City. While it goes without saying that I think that the people behind this “Try Orthodoxy” campaign have good intentions, I wonder if this is the correct approach to take. Putting aside the warm-and-fuzzy tone, I don’t think that a conference (which appeals to the mind) is the best way to introduce one to Orthodoxy (which is centered in the heart). Anyone with access to the Internet can find out information about the Orthodox Church as well as all the major arguments for its truth. But faith is the product of grace, not arguments. And this grace is produced by love and prayer.

I believe that the revival of Orthodoxy in America will not come about as a result of fancy ad campaigns. The sapling planted by the Church is watered by the good works of the faithful, and tended by excellent pastors. Perhaps we need another Chrysostom that will eloquently put forth the witness of Orthodoxy, as well as sponsor works of love both in the spiritual realm and in the world. May God grant us such as saint!

Dickens
A Tale of Two Cities

Dillard
The Living

Dostoevsky
The Idiot

Endo
Silence

Gogol
Dead Souls

Greene
The Power and the Glory

Martel
The Life of Pi

Solzhenitsyn
One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovitch

I did the natural response, which was to turn around and listen to what this man, who was apparently working on his car outside, had to say. “Excuse me, but you dropped something.” “Excuse me, what time is it?” were among the sundry phrases I expected, but what he actually said, “Excuse me, you know that this is all superstition, right? That there is no God?” of course surprised me.

Being quite taken aback, I did not know how to respond for several seconds. The man looked quite older than me—perhaps past 50—and his time-worn appearance and the authoritative tone in which he said “You know that this is all superstition, right?” made him look like quite the confident American. My first internal response was that of surprise, not merely because of the “question” but because I did not have any obvious external indication of my faith. In my stack of books there was a very slim and unnoticeable work on repentance; the only other indication would have been a CD-R copy of the Service to St. Necktarios [sic] that I was holding with my index finger.

Whatever the case, I wasn’t in the mood for an argument, and my interlocutor’s demeanor did not show any curiosity or willingness to be persuaded on his part.

So, I went with my instincts: I crossed myself and said to him, “God bless you.” As I was walking away, the man shouted to me, “Which God? Zeus? There are thousands of gods…” I turned and made the sign of the cross upon him and the man with him, saying, “May the Lord bless you and keep you.” Perhaps that was a bit overkill, but it seemed a good idea at the time. The man continued on his atheistical spiel while I went on my way.

Perhaps if I was more interested in rational argument or even more bellicose in character, I would have thrown my books down and engaged in a no-holds-barred syllogistic battle with the infidel. Perhaps if had a more irenic and mystical character, I would have posed a paradoxical word to the man to awaken him from his dogmatic slumber. But somehow I would doubt that any sort of rational or mystical posturing would have convinced him. I am reminded of the Athonite Elder who, when he was confronted by an unbeliever to produce some kind of proof of the Orthodox Faith, simply said “No” and walked away. I guess I did the same thing, sort of.

For a very long time I wondered why Jesus had to ascend into Heaven in order to send the Holy Spirit. Why couldn’t He have stayed on earth with His apostles? It would’ve made it a lot easier for the Church. If anyone tried to persecute Christians, Jesus could’ve come up and showed His wounds and said “Here, see? I’m alive!”

Yes, if Jesus stayed with us we could’ve achieved worldly glory. But we wouldn’t have had the Holy Spirit, because according to the Gospel today, Jesus had “not yet been glorified.” Our Lord was glorified through His Cross and Resurrection, yes, but this glorification was not complete until He ascended to the Father. Through His resurrection, death was defeated and human nature was restored to its original state, but it was not enough. Human nature had to be glorified, it had to be deified. And thus through Christ’s Ascension human nature becomes deified, at least potentially so, allowing for us to receive the Holy Spirit. As someone raised with a Western mindset, focusing on Christ’s crucifixion and resurrection, Pentecost made no sense. But now, as an Orthodox, it makes complete sense to me. Hopefully I will go beyond mere words, and be made worthy of the deifying power of the Holy Spirit.

O Heavenly King, the Comforter, the Spirit of Truth, Who art everywhere and fillest all things, treasury of Blessings, and Giver of Life, come and abide in us and cleanse us from every impurity and save our souls, O Good One.